A Stranger’s Words in a Private Place

img_0344Two minutes, then she was gone. I wiped the tears that trailed down my face. I couldn’t give in to the sobs that threatened to overtake me. I had to be strong.

I looked at the empty spot where the stranger had stood a moment earlier. Had that just happened? Maybe not – it had been a crazy day, after all.

It was the day we would find out the answer to many questions. My sweet Kristen had been diagnosed with LAM and on this day, we would visit a specialist who would tell us her prognosis. We would find out if she would live a significantly shorter life; if she would suffer; if we needed to make lifestyle changes. We were scared but trying not to be.

Kristen, who is developmentally delayed and has autism, read us like a book. She had heard our conversations more than we realized. She recognized our anxiety level. She didn’t for one minute buy into our soothing words. She acted out on what she had heard, what she saw in our body language, and what she’d overheard earlier in the week.

It was awful.

Have you ever heard the school chant, Everywhere we go, people always know, Broncos! Broncos! Broncos! (not Denver; Denton High School)

That’s how our day was. Everywhere we went, people always knew.

Our visit to the medical facility was a two-part appointment, one in the morning for a breathing test and the doctor visit after lunch. When we returned to the medical center, I urged Kristen to come with me to the restroom. She yelled no, stomped her feet, then followed me in.

“Okay, go ahead and go to the bathroom, honey,” I told her as I headed in to a stall.

“No!” she yelled. “I don’t need to go!” Her arms were firmly weaved together in what she calls the “mad arms” position.

I knew she had to go. She just had two drinks. “Kristen, please, just go. It’s not a big deal. Just go.”

And then I heard a woman’s soft voice say, “Excuse me.” I winced as I heard Kristen’s usual response of, “No! Excuse ME! I’m upset!” yelled out, and I could see and hear stomping and flailing arms, and the slamming door of the stall next to mine.

I put my head in my hands and thought, Lord, please…

When I came out, there was a woman washing her hands. I turned on the water, thinking, I could ignore this or address it.

I smiled at her and said, “I’m sorry she was rude to you.”

The woman smiled and shook her head. Her voice was soft and sweet. “She wasn’t rude to me.” She hesitated, then said, “You know, I just started praying for you. I prayed that you would have peace and just an extra measure of patience.”

Her gentle words touched my bruised heart. All day long, Kristen’s out of control behavior had been turning heads. Her words had been poisonous to Rick and me. It was my birthday, but all she knew was that something bad was happening today, and it was about this doctor’s visit. No amount of cajoling or positive rewards could make up for her perception.

My eyes teared up as I took in this sweet stranger’s words, thinking how badly I needed extra patience with my daughter on this crazy day, and how badly I needed peace for our uncertain future. I think her eyes were misty, too. I would have hugged her, but I would’ve been a basket case – and then what would Kristen do?

So I thanked her, and I felt encouraged.

This sweet stranger, who had nothing to gain, gave me so much that day. Her prayers and her words of mercy were rejuvenating. They were just what I needed to keep going, to look at my daughter with fresh eyes and say, Okay, I can do this, no matter what people think, or say, or how grim the prognosis.

That sweet woman changed everything for me.

I want to do that for someone. Lord, open my eyes to the needs only You know.

Kristen’s prognosis was better than we imagined. We left the medical center feeling optimistic about the future and encouraged by a stranger’s prayer.



From Awful to Wonderful, Hope is the Bridge

ej3-zfjxr6q-eryk-fudala-hopeYou never know how good you have it until you don’t.

I always think that whenever I’ve been sick. Afterwards, I think, It feels so good to feel good!

I haven’t been sick lately, but we’ve had a few things occur that have jarred our little world. Enough to make me appreciate normalcy.

Now, after weeks of wishing for normal, longing for boring, it’s back: Routine! Blessed monotonous, always a dull moment routine. How I craved it! If I could hug it, I would!

Have you ever felt this way? If you’ve been through a surprising, bumpy road that maybe you knew was temporary, but seemed unending at the time, maybe you know what I’m talking about.

In the beginning, your adrenaline surges. Eyes wide open, you’re taken aback, but you’re ready for this! Your mind is on high alert. You’re a prayer warrior. Bring it on!

But then, the adrenaline settles, and so does your situation. Reality sets in…this could be awhile. Hmmm. This could be a drag. But we’ll get through it!

Then…there’s no question. It IS a drag. And it seems to drag on and on. Your mind tells you there’s an end, but your spirit is losing hope. The words coming out of your mouth don’t even sound like they belong to you. Who is that grouch talking? You need an intervention, the heavenly kind.

Just when you think you can’t get any lower, you pour your heart out to God. You tell him you can’t do it anymore. You’re sick and tired of it. It’s wearing you down. You can’t even remember how it felt to be the real you.

Friend, that’s when God swoops in and shows his abundant love! To be sure, he treats us in different ways according to our needs and personalities. But we walk away knowing without a doubt God loves us, without condition. We walk away with hope.

And hope is the one thing we cannot live without.

Hope is the bridge that gets us from awful to wonderful. If your day is awful, tell God about it, right now. You need his hope. Your situation won’t change, but your outlook will. If you look at an awful situation with hope, you can make it.

I know.

Leave me a comment and I’ll pray for you, friend. We all need hope.